Dorothy
The following was taken from our Facebook blog entitled, "Dorothy's Last Chapter":
This morning I was able to feed Kaspian in the early morning dew without choking on sobs. He is usually sleeping when I get out there, and when he awakens he forgets Dorothy is not there and runs around the paddock calling for her before his hunger hits him. It's the saddest thing you've ever seen, but I think I'm getting used to it.
Dorothy's last chapter (and Kaspian's first) begins when she came to us last fall. An ad for a very low priced geriatric Amish draft peaked my interest. I knew she needed a place to call home for the rest of her life. We were sent pictures and it was over right then and there - we were going to pick up bag of bones Dorothy and see what life we could breathe back into her. I was a mess the whole way home, hoping the trip back up through the mountains wouldn't take too much out of her. It was dark when we unloaded her. I could tell she was anxious about her new surroundings but she made not a step out of line. I'm pretty sure I didn't sleep a wink that night as our accomodations weren't exactly draft friendly at the time!
This morning I was able to feed Kaspian in the early morning dew without choking on sobs. He is usually sleeping when I get out there, and when he awakens he forgets Dorothy is not there and runs around the paddock calling for her before his hunger hits him. It's the saddest thing you've ever seen, but I think I'm getting used to it.
Dorothy's last chapter (and Kaspian's first) begins when she came to us last fall. An ad for a very low priced geriatric Amish draft peaked my interest. I knew she needed a place to call home for the rest of her life. We were sent pictures and it was over right then and there - we were going to pick up bag of bones Dorothy and see what life we could breathe back into her. I was a mess the whole way home, hoping the trip back up through the mountains wouldn't take too much out of her. It was dark when we unloaded her. I could tell she was anxious about her new surroundings but she made not a step out of line. I'm pretty sure I didn't sleep a wink that night as our accomodations weren't exactly draft friendly at the time!
Mid winter hit and our skinny little Dorothy (about 1000 lbs when we got her) was now large and in charge, at around 1350. She was now cantering in the field at times and could keep a nice pace on the trail. She was full of life, interacting well with our now growing rescue herd, and just craved our attention. Her presence would stop traffic on the busy road in front of our house and she never refused visitors. Everyone commented about how in the world we got our legs around her when we rode :)
March came and Dorothy seemed to finally really relax in the field. We often found her lying down alone, basking in the sun a lot. She was just so happy and content, even comfortable eating off of the same hay pile with Bullet! We had finally gotten our shed row barn (that's a story within itself) and she took to her end stall very nicely. Joy came out to do everyone's Coggins and again marveled at her transformation.
Jason and his girl, Happy Tails Springtime
on the Farm Fundraiser April 2011
Our first rescue fundraiser took place in April down the road at a friend's stable that was more crowd friendly. No one could believe that this was the same skinny Dorothy! She gave pony rides like a champ but seemed a little tired from the mile walk up. We gave her breaks happily, all she wanted to do lately was cuddle with us.
Two weeks passed and I noticed that she was distancing herself from the herd. She was getting a lot of attention because she was shedding out and we needed to get all of that fluff that would cause anyone within 20 ft to choke OFF of her! She had also broken out in a severe mane and tail dermatitis. I had never seen chunks rub out of a horse's tail like that other than when I was young and watched the dam of my childhood Arab go through pregnancy. Jason and I brainstormed about her latest skin issue and joked again about her belly and that she was probably pregnant. Haha, funny stuff. One warm afternoon I gave her a bath. We still needed to get all of that salt off of her skin from her sweats. What was that I just felt under her belly? A filling bag! Oh my... no Tera, you are just being silly, she's an overbred mare and it's spring. False pregnancy was the likely cause.
Getting close!
The next morning her bag had doubled in size and colostrum was readily producable.Her hind end was boggy. Jason commented, "You know, I was laying on her the other day and I swear something kicked me". I called Joy, and a number of others (you know who you are!) in sheer panic. It was all adding up, Dorothy was pregnant and we had no foaling facilities nor did she exactly present as a low risk pregnancy. Joy's jaw nearly dropped when she came around the corner and saw her. The horse had completely transformed into a walking incubator in 3 weeks since she had seen her. There was a BIG foal found upon rectal exam and he was coming soon!!!
We scrambled, building our foal kit, re routinng fencing, altering the old shed (yet again) and basically started throwing the food down her throat. She was rotated around the lawn on new grass everyday and quickly maxed out on Mare and Foal. Dorothy was about ready to explode but we knew how much nutrition that BIG baby in her was sapping from her body and we also knew it would be even more taxing once it was out and nursing.
We scrambled, building our foal kit, re routinng fencing, altering the old shed (yet again) and basically started throwing the food down her throat. She was rotated around the lawn on new grass everyday and quickly maxed out on Mare and Foal. Dorothy was about ready to explode but we knew how much nutrition that BIG baby in her was sapping from her body and we also knew it would be even more taxing once it was out and nursing.
Dorothy and newborn baby Kaspian 5/18/11
The next 3 weeks I spent watching her like a hawk. We had no idea what was in that belly or when it was coming, only that it seemed healthy and active. Her first trimester, the time in pregnancy that most affects development, was very sketchy. We had fully vaccinated Dorothy and wormed her with Quest - 2 HUGE no-no's with pregnant mares. Delivery could be hairy. The night came. I knew she would go. I watched her until 4am when Peyton, our toddler, came and got me, wanting me to lay down with her. My head popped up at 7:30AM. There was a foal laying next to Dorothy in the run in shed. That sneaky mare! We had a healthy baby and slowly recovering mare... we weren't out of the woods yet but things seemed to be improving. Dorothy had a lot of abdominal edema but wasn't letting her condition get her down. She was an attentive sweet mamma that didn't take her eyes off her baby and was producing a TON of milk. We really couldn't ask for anymore.
Kaspian, 2 weeks of age
The first month of Kaspian's life seemed to go seemlessly. He grew in leaps and bounds. Dorothy ate and ate and ate at her grain and alfalfa mix and really seemed to keep her weight up well, even improving her topline nicer than it had ever been. She had an abundace of milk for him and he took full advatage of it. By week 3 we had run out of alfalfa in the entire region. We heard word that it was being trucked up from the south and going for $10 a bale at some auctions near Harrisburg. I switched her over to some of last years timothy hay that we had been able to get our hands on. Only one more week until haying season really started and we'd be able to get our hands on some nice quality first cutting alfalfa.
Topline looking as good as ever!
Kas grew about a foot that week. We started him on Mare and Foal creep feed, which he gobbled excitedly. Dorothy was starting to push him off from nursing when she was eating. She was ravenous and maxed out on grain. The next Monday came and FINALLY we were able to get some nice alfalfa for her. It was dry enough to feed straight out but we still hesitantly gave it to her and worked her up, trying to prevent any gastric upset. By Thursday she was up to full rations and very happy. She had even broken into the hay area on Wedesday and didn't seem to have any issues with her belly. We were anxious for her to put back on weight that she had lost in just one week, you could start to see her topline deteriorating again and she was getting ribby. Kas was nursing more frequently and Dorothy's bag didn't seem as full, but she was still producing plenty.
Saturday was a busy day. We were supposed to have a table at an open house for Ashburn's Animals on a Mission. We eventually got there after morning feed and stayed til afternoon. When we got home I noticed Dorothy hadn't put much of a dent in her hay - VERY ODD. I decided to do some work outside for the rest of the evening and keep an eye on her. We noticed around 6:30 she was comfortably laying down with her head upright watching Kas - Jason and I both said how relieved we were that she was finally resting - she had been falling down from exhaustion at times again because she wouldn't take a break from watching over her baby. Throughout the evening she started making me nervous as she kept getting up and laying down. She hadn't rolled but she was acting peculiar and hadn't touched her hay. I made her a warm beet pulp mash around 9PM. This she seemed interested in and trotted back to the run in to eat. She picked at it for about 5 min then promptly turned around, layed down and tried to roll. Her belly was tight and turgid. I ran at her, threw a halter and lead on her and started walking while dialing our vet. She needed Banamine NOW and I had none. Jason came out and I gave him strict instructions to keep her moving and not to let her lay down. I sped like a maniac aroud the corner to grab Banamine off of another vet's truck. By 1015 I was able to get 12cc in her chest and 12cc in her external jugular. The vein disappeared after I began the first injection. She was dehydrated. After 10 min of walking after the Banamine all seemed well. She relaxed and appeared comfortable. Her vital signs never went out of the normal range and she pooped right before I gave the med. She still had audible bowel sounds without a stethescope and her mucous membranes were pink. I stayed up with her and Kas (chatting with Kelly from Charming Acres to keep myself awake, thank you Kelly :) ) until around 2:30AM. At that time she was picking at hay, had taken a couple swigs of water and appeared comfortable but just exahausted, nearly taking out the fence in one of her falling episodes. I let her lay down, as she seemed to want to sleep and showed no inclination to roll. She had been farting up a storm and Kelly, Joy and I all seemed to think she had a quick gassy colic and the Banamine was all she needed to relax and pass it.
At 7 AM I looked out the window to see her laying down again with her head up right watching Kas, appearing tired but comfortable and happy that Kas wasn't pouncing on her. I made it out to examine her around 8:30, noting that she had gotten up and was moseying around. I spent 5 min picking out the stall and then starting to examine her. She was calm and layed down again, taking interest in my fork but looked super sleepy. Suddenly an alarmed looked passed over her face and her entire demeanor contorted into a horse that was in severe pain. Her resperations became rapid and she tried to roll. I caught her before she could get farther than just laying parallel with the ground, yanked her to her feet and started her walking again. Being a critical care nurse, I carry syringes, needles and meds in my pockets quite regularly without a thought. I was able to draw up 30 cc of Banamine within seconds while walking. I turned to give it to Dorothy only to realize she was now trembling and soaked with sweat to the point it was pouring off of her belly and legs. She was now sterling silver in color. I couldn't get a jugular to save my life but I notice her mammary veins were still visable on her taught belly. I was able to get 18 cc into her left mammary vein before those too began to shrivel. The last 12cc went into her chest. She urinated, it was very dark and concentrated. I had to haul on her to keep her from going down in a trembling sweaty mess. I dialed every number in my phone. It was Sunday morning and no one was answering. My husband and daughter were still asleep in the house. The emergency service was busy at the vet office. Joy wasn't answering her cell. I need a gastric tube and IV equipment. There are multiple places I knew this equipment was at just a couple of miles of my house but I couldn't leave her to get it! It was 10 min out from the Banamine and she really wasn't improving at all. I started screaming at the top of my lungs for my husband. After about 5 min by the grace of God he heard me. At the same time a neighbor called back. I sent her to the large animal facility down the road for supplies. The emergency service line finally opened and I placed a request for an emergency call for colic and then we walked and waited and walked and waited. Our neighbor called back, there were no gastric tubes or IV supplies at the large animal facility. Now we were an hour out and Dorothy was getting worse by the minute. I didn't want to give her anymore Banamine as it is hard on the kidneys and we already knew that they were being stressed by her concentrated urine. It was horrible not being able to do anything at all for her simply due to the fact that I couldn't get my hands on the materials that I needed to manage or diagnose her colic. We didn't even want to walk her at this point because she was so exhausted and dehydrated it was just compounding the issue. Neighbors and horse friends started arriving. I handed Dorothy off to them so I could run and feed all the other horses as it was after 10AM. Joy had gotten my message and she was sending the emergency vet on call over as she was teaching Sunday school. She advised us, as we had also felt, that giving more Banamine would be more harmful at this point than helpful and that the other vet would be there soon. The waiting game again, the emergency vet was 45 min away. At 1050 the vet arrived. Dorothy still could barely stand she was trembling so badly and we needed to get her back across the paddock to the run in... and wait for the vet tech to arrive with central line materials and fluids. We also had to give her a dose of sedative (which did calm her heart rate of 90 back down to the 40's and made her appear more comfortable) which made the 150 ft treck even harder. After much yelling and butt smacking that all of us just felt aweful about we finally made it back and after 4 tries got the central line in to start her fluids. She was so volume depleted we were doing completely blind sticks to get a jugular on a DRAFT HORSE. I started getting a very bad feeling at this point. Even if she was a surgical candidate she would have to endure a trailer ride for 4 1/2 hrs to even get there. After 2 more doses of sedative she did appear more comfortable but definitely sicker. Her belly was as hard as a rock and huge. Bowel sounds were no longer descernable by stethescope. We were holding her head up and there were periods where there was no corneal reflex. The fluids wouldn't run into her fast enough. Then she rallied momentarily. The vet left me 3 doses of sedative and she ran back to the office to run the labs it was only 10 minutes before her heart rate was 120. 120 is REALLY bad. In addition to her heart rate suddenly rising her resperatory rate and effort was through the roof. The sedative didn't work after 15 min. Her hind end started going and she layed down only to rise again, desperately searching for Kaspian. We brought him around quickly to her side and she craned her neck around to breathe him in. Then it happened, what we believe to be a massive stroke along with previous accumulating pulmonary embolisms. She suddenly fell flat on her side, away from Kaspian, paused for perhaps 15 seconds , and then spasmed into the 'colic curl' on her back. I yelled for the rest of the sedative. I couldn't bare to see her in such distress. We pushed her over so I could get to the IV hub and I pushed the sedative hard and fast down the line. She relaxed and we let her relax flat. I knew it was the end but she was still with us. I flung myself over her neck and held her head in my arms just telling her over and over how much I loved her, what a great job she had done bringing Kaspian into this world, and that I promised to love him and care for him just as she would for everyday for the rest of his life. He had come over at that point and was slowly running his muzzle all over her face and down her neck next to me. I was relieved that she didn't hang on for long, it could have only been a few minutes with very few agonal respirations at the end. I just layed there with her, my hand still covering her eye, my arm up and around her poll, breathing in her sent, my cheek wet with her sweat. It was so calming knowing she wasn't suffering anymore, it was over. I didn't want to move, I just wanted to lay there forever with her. Kas was very quiet. He knew what had happened. There were so many people there, when I finally realized I was surrounded by them all I had to make the decision to remove myself from her before they felt that they needed to remove me. I needed to do it on my own. I called the vet and my husband, who unfortunately had to leave for work just as we had got the IV running. The vet was astonished and my husband devastated that he wasn't there to say goodbye. His last interaction with her was yelling at her and smacking her rump to keep her from going down and that just about killed him.
At 7 AM I looked out the window to see her laying down again with her head up right watching Kas, appearing tired but comfortable and happy that Kas wasn't pouncing on her. I made it out to examine her around 8:30, noting that she had gotten up and was moseying around. I spent 5 min picking out the stall and then starting to examine her. She was calm and layed down again, taking interest in my fork but looked super sleepy. Suddenly an alarmed looked passed over her face and her entire demeanor contorted into a horse that was in severe pain. Her resperations became rapid and she tried to roll. I caught her before she could get farther than just laying parallel with the ground, yanked her to her feet and started her walking again. Being a critical care nurse, I carry syringes, needles and meds in my pockets quite regularly without a thought. I was able to draw up 30 cc of Banamine within seconds while walking. I turned to give it to Dorothy only to realize she was now trembling and soaked with sweat to the point it was pouring off of her belly and legs. She was now sterling silver in color. I couldn't get a jugular to save my life but I notice her mammary veins were still visable on her taught belly. I was able to get 18 cc into her left mammary vein before those too began to shrivel. The last 12cc went into her chest. She urinated, it was very dark and concentrated. I had to haul on her to keep her from going down in a trembling sweaty mess. I dialed every number in my phone. It was Sunday morning and no one was answering. My husband and daughter were still asleep in the house. The emergency service was busy at the vet office. Joy wasn't answering her cell. I need a gastric tube and IV equipment. There are multiple places I knew this equipment was at just a couple of miles of my house but I couldn't leave her to get it! It was 10 min out from the Banamine and she really wasn't improving at all. I started screaming at the top of my lungs for my husband. After about 5 min by the grace of God he heard me. At the same time a neighbor called back. I sent her to the large animal facility down the road for supplies. The emergency service line finally opened and I placed a request for an emergency call for colic and then we walked and waited and walked and waited. Our neighbor called back, there were no gastric tubes or IV supplies at the large animal facility. Now we were an hour out and Dorothy was getting worse by the minute. I didn't want to give her anymore Banamine as it is hard on the kidneys and we already knew that they were being stressed by her concentrated urine. It was horrible not being able to do anything at all for her simply due to the fact that I couldn't get my hands on the materials that I needed to manage or diagnose her colic. We didn't even want to walk her at this point because she was so exhausted and dehydrated it was just compounding the issue. Neighbors and horse friends started arriving. I handed Dorothy off to them so I could run and feed all the other horses as it was after 10AM. Joy had gotten my message and she was sending the emergency vet on call over as she was teaching Sunday school. She advised us, as we had also felt, that giving more Banamine would be more harmful at this point than helpful and that the other vet would be there soon. The waiting game again, the emergency vet was 45 min away. At 1050 the vet arrived. Dorothy still could barely stand she was trembling so badly and we needed to get her back across the paddock to the run in... and wait for the vet tech to arrive with central line materials and fluids. We also had to give her a dose of sedative (which did calm her heart rate of 90 back down to the 40's and made her appear more comfortable) which made the 150 ft treck even harder. After much yelling and butt smacking that all of us just felt aweful about we finally made it back and after 4 tries got the central line in to start her fluids. She was so volume depleted we were doing completely blind sticks to get a jugular on a DRAFT HORSE. I started getting a very bad feeling at this point. Even if she was a surgical candidate she would have to endure a trailer ride for 4 1/2 hrs to even get there. After 2 more doses of sedative she did appear more comfortable but definitely sicker. Her belly was as hard as a rock and huge. Bowel sounds were no longer descernable by stethescope. We were holding her head up and there were periods where there was no corneal reflex. The fluids wouldn't run into her fast enough. Then she rallied momentarily. The vet left me 3 doses of sedative and she ran back to the office to run the labs it was only 10 minutes before her heart rate was 120. 120 is REALLY bad. In addition to her heart rate suddenly rising her resperatory rate and effort was through the roof. The sedative didn't work after 15 min. Her hind end started going and she layed down only to rise again, desperately searching for Kaspian. We brought him around quickly to her side and she craned her neck around to breathe him in. Then it happened, what we believe to be a massive stroke along with previous accumulating pulmonary embolisms. She suddenly fell flat on her side, away from Kaspian, paused for perhaps 15 seconds , and then spasmed into the 'colic curl' on her back. I yelled for the rest of the sedative. I couldn't bare to see her in such distress. We pushed her over so I could get to the IV hub and I pushed the sedative hard and fast down the line. She relaxed and we let her relax flat. I knew it was the end but she was still with us. I flung myself over her neck and held her head in my arms just telling her over and over how much I loved her, what a great job she had done bringing Kaspian into this world, and that I promised to love him and care for him just as she would for everyday for the rest of his life. He had come over at that point and was slowly running his muzzle all over her face and down her neck next to me. I was relieved that she didn't hang on for long, it could have only been a few minutes with very few agonal respirations at the end. I just layed there with her, my hand still covering her eye, my arm up and around her poll, breathing in her sent, my cheek wet with her sweat. It was so calming knowing she wasn't suffering anymore, it was over. I didn't want to move, I just wanted to lay there forever with her. Kas was very quiet. He knew what had happened. There were so many people there, when I finally realized I was surrounded by them all I had to make the decision to remove myself from her before they felt that they needed to remove me. I needed to do it on my own. I called the vet and my husband, who unfortunately had to leave for work just as we had got the IV running. The vet was astonished and my husband devastated that he wasn't there to say goodbye. His last interaction with her was yelling at her and smacking her rump to keep her from going down and that just about killed him.
Visiting Mamma.
My neighbor has a back hoe and he graciously came and buried her for us in the lower pasture. That is where she rests now, over seeing the farm, making sure everything goes as it should. Another neighbor took Peyton for the afternoon and one of my lesson girls stayed behind to help me get on through the day. I was in 'go mode' as my coping mechanism and we finished stringing the new fence in the upper pasture as well as cleaned up the paddocks a bit. We brought 'Uncle Bo Bo' (Bullet the pony) over to keep depressed Kaspian company. They are good for each other as they both like to play really rough but are snugglers at the end of the day. Kaspian refused a bottle throughout the day but at midnight figured out he could drink brown sugar flavored formula from a bucket just fine.
So that is Dorothy's last chapter. She conceived a foal when she was starved to the point of emaciation and advanced in maternal age. Her body protected his growing body despite tick infestation, harmful to fetal mortality vaccinations and medications, and nutrition deficits. She carried him through a long hard winter with temperatures less than 13 below somenights with only a run in for shelter. She survived delivery on her own and supported him through the calorie consuming and often times exhausting labor of lactation for 5 whole weeks until his sheer size along with her other contributing factors, including possible sarcoid cancer, vascular and digestive damage from a lifetime of possible parasite infection, her maternal age, and who knows what else that got the best of her. Raising Kaspian to this point was Dorothy's last duty in this world and she couldn't have done a better job - I'm reminded of it everytime that little colt calls for me when I step outside.
Thank you Dorothy. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You created a horse lover out of my husband ( a feat within itself), a sweet perfect baby boy for us to raise and love, and a following of supporters who have helped us help other horses beyond our wildest dreams. Good girl.
Love, Hugs, and Kisses, Tera |
Lay down, my friend, and close your sweet eyes…
…when next you awake, you’ll look down from blue skies.
Free from the pain, you will run in full stride,
with friends from the past and through fields far and wide.
With God as your master to take care of you,
every day up in heaven, you’ll feel love so true.
And all of the gifts that you gave me each day,
will come back to you as you frolic and play.
Then some day, my sweet love, I’ll see you once more,
as you greet me with nickers as you’ve done before.
So know that I love you and with me you’ll be,
in my heart everyday as I dream of you free.
…when next you awake, you’ll look down from blue skies.
Free from the pain, you will run in full stride,
with friends from the past and through fields far and wide.
With God as your master to take care of you,
every day up in heaven, you’ll feel love so true.
And all of the gifts that you gave me each day,
will come back to you as you frolic and play.
Then some day, my sweet love, I’ll see you once more,
as you greet me with nickers as you’ve done before.
So know that I love you and with me you’ll be,
in my heart everyday as I dream of you free.